what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Cripples are lame.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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time to spruce up!

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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