How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Rylan Clark

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Communism hehe xd

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops