Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Peas

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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