I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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