what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Denard Robinson

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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