What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

Who is big and stupid My brother

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

Lil Wayne

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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