a man was shot.... he died

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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