What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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womens rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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knock knock Goodbye

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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