Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

Justin Bieber's mother.

what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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