What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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school homewrok

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womens rights.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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