A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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