How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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