Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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