I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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