What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

thumb_up thumb_down

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down -12

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops