Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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96

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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