A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Andoni was here

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Gustavo Andrade

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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