2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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a blond makes out with ron every sunday and she stops every time to remember that she put the cheese in the wrong compartment brick house cheese is sad!

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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AIDS

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops