Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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