Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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I am a mime

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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