The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Grace Ackerson

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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I'm homeless.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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