A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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