A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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