What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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