How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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