Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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