Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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sky's sty

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Hail Hitler

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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