What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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A gay man watches football.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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