A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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