How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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A house comes around the corner.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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