Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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your mom.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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