Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a dyslexic man walked his god.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops