A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

Knock knock It's open, come in

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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