What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops