How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE 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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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Do you play piano? No

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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