What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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i saw amango it splootered

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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. . I am a whale

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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