guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops