Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops