Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Choir.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops