Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Hi.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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