How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Ehh

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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