Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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men, men like men= men+bed

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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