A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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