what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Communism hehe xd

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops