wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Yellow People !!

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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