Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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want more?

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Jovan

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops