Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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