What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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