As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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star wars kid

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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