How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops