A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

knock knock who's there ?

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...