How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops