knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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