What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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