How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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