When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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