What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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No

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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I am a mime

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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