A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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