Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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