Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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