A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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A man walks into a bar

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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