What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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i'm hard

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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