A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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