There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops