Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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