What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

Cripples are lame.

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

Who is Dank? A: Billal

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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