Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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