Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops