My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

star wars kid

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

Justin Bieber

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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