Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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