Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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