A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops