How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

thumb_up thumb_down -5

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops